Back-to-School: Building a Partnership with your Child’s Teacher
We got the backpack ready, the new shoes out, packed the lunchbox and got to school. We made our way to the new classroom, my 2nd grader leading the way. Bag in cubby, he walked into the classroom like he just knew what he was doing — friends to see, a scavenger hunt to tackle. He got to work and play right away. I on the other hand was lost. I walked over to his new teacher and greeted her. I was only half-excited. As I looked at her I realized I didn’t know quite what to say other than, “How was your summer?” and “How are you doing today?”
She is the most important person in my son’s school life. Who she is, how she is with him, what she does with the class, her interests, temperament, expertise, care and humanness will color my son’s school experience more than anything else will. I am reading “Creating Innovators”. Four chapters in I have found one recurring pattern in the experience of the innovators the book describes — they all had one excellent teacher at some point. That one teacher — her manner of teaching, talking, being, her excitement, compassion and ability to inspire, love and challenge — all at the same time was pivotal in the experience of all the innovators. This is true for every child, not just innovators; no matter what grade or age, no matter what subject.
If the teacher is so important, why was I so lost in knowing how to speak to her this morning? Simply because I know how important she is. High on the list of the few things I can and must do for my son is to build a strong partnership with his teacher. And what does that even really mean?
Here’s what I have come up with:
Know that it is a partnership: Just like I come together with my husband/partner to raise our children, I need to partner with my son’s teacher. So often the parent-teacher relationship feels transactional in nature. Somewhere in the recesses of my unawake mind is the expectation that the teacher just needs to do right by my son. Yeah well, I hope she does right by him but where do I get off “expecting it”? I think its better if we both come together for him and support each other so we can both do right by him. This means that sometimes she needs help and counsel and often I need help and counsel. We are a team, together and on the same page.
You’d better run command prompt as administrator to repair system image.
See her as a person, not just as a teacher: I have bad days, heck I have terrible days. So will she. Greeting her and treating her as a person and not an automaton that must deliver for the well-being of my child is important. This means I cannot just say, “How was your summer?” Perhaps I want to ask, “What are your energized by today?” If I care about her as a person, I will seek to know her more than just as a teacher that teaches my child but instead as a human who is part of my daily life.
Give before I take: Isn’t that just a good rule for me to follow in all parts of life? Before I can ask or hope for my son’s teacher to do anything for him, perhaps I want to ask what I can do for her and the classroom.
Keep the information flowing, both ways: Back to those recesses of my mind and its expectations, I expect that the teacher will keep me abreast of what is going on in the classroom. Don’t I also owe that to her? Afterall, my son spends half his waking time with his teacher and half of it with me. Needless to say, I cannot write to her the length of this blog post but I think I need to drop a line every few days/weeks. I will not wait for the parent-teacher conference to connect.
I think this is a good start. A good start for a momentous day. For those of you wondering, back-to-school also signals my return to Art of Education full-time. I plan to run a full practice for school choice and several other consultations services. This also means a full season of workshops. Yes, its back-to-school for all of us around here!