Is Santa real?
I recently read this hilarious, heart-warming post "My Kids Won't Not Believe in Santa" by Natalie Singer-Velush, editor for ParentMap.
It reminded me of how the Santa story has turned out in our family. I know how dear Santa is to many of you so I hope you will still see my son's tender side as you read this post.
When I was pregnant with our son and still teaching full-time, my students asked me what we would tell our child about Santa. It was quite an animated discussion and one that made it very clear to me where I stood on the matter. Like much of our parenting, when it comes to beliefs we want to follow our child's lead on what he wants to believe. So, when our boy first came across Santa, I spoke about Santa like most parents do, telling the story and such. I was careful not to insist on Santa being a person. This barely came up when he was 3.5 years old.
Then, it all came to a head when he was 4.5 years old. During our annual walk around Green Lake for the Pathway of Lights, amidst thousands of people, seeing a Santa in the distance, our boy exclaimed to me, "There is no Santa. Santa is any person dressed in a costume who is kind and gives away gifts. If I dressed in a costume and was really kind, I could be Santa. That's it!" He had figured it out, almost all on his own, from where we don't know. His deep interest in the polar ice caps confirmed for him that penguins and other creatures live at the poles and there isn't a woodworking workshop there. He offered this as further evidence of his belief.
Between hushed responses to my exuberant, utterly realistic boy, I came to realize that for our boy, not believing in Santa is just as real as believing in him. He has the spirit down right though — if you are kind and generous, you can be Santa. Amen, I say!
So, that's where we are. Our work this year is helping our young son see how his strong lack of belief in the person Santa is separate from his belief in the spirit of Santa. Further, I am helping him see that just as unreal the person Santa is to him, he is that real to other people.
Its a work in progress … mystical, metaphysical and magical!
Photo credit: Wheelquestions blog