Ready or Not, Its Time to Transition to Kindergarten

As the days get shorter
and cooler winds blow, it is time return indoors to quieter play and work. For
many families, this is a time of transition. For those headed to Kindergarten, it
is a significant time of change. In such a time of transition, it is easy to
think of readiness – Are we ready with our supplies? Are we ready with
transportation? What about school lunches? These are important pieces of the
transition process. It is also important to reflect on the inner changes a time
of transition brings. This is a time of transition, not just of readiness.

My own family is
navigating this time of change as our son heads to Kindergarten. I find myself
riding a wave that rises with the high energy of readiness and the quieter dips
of nervousness, expectations and unsteady excitement. In my reading and online
searches I came across many articles on readiness, many quite informative. I
found little guidance on ways in which I can make space and time to notice how
this transition will shape me as a parent, my family as a unit and our son. In
an effort to hold space for my own family and the many I worked with this last
year, here are my thoughts on creating space and time in the coming weeks and months:

Check-In with
Yourself: Turn first to yourself. Ask yourself, “What expectations do I have
for my child this year? What goals do I have? Are these my goals or are they
goals apt for our 5 year-old and for who she is?” Write down your answers and
put them in an envelope. Make it a time capsule. Open it at the end of the
year. Your answers might prove revealing and invite a reflection on your
expectations of education, of your child and how you show up as a parent in
your child’s educational journey.

• Transitions
  Take Time: A transition does not necessarily happen over a single day, a few
  hours or even a week. I hear from veteran parents that children take months,
  nearly a whole year to settle into Kindergarten. Give this transition the time
  it deserves. Let it unfold. Allow your child the space and time to get to know
  a new place, people and culture. This means that dear darling might not be
  demonstrating a new set of skills in the first weeks or even months of the
  school year. She is however learning.
  She is learning to make friends, to navigate the school space, to know its
  rules and subtler cultural tones. And, she is learning what it means to be a
  learner — a lesson that will inform her work in years to come.

• Slow it Down:
  Kindergarten can be exhausting. An elementary school teacher once told me that
  she would sometimes have to carry Kindergartners out to the car because they
  had fallen asleep at the end of the school day. If you can, keep after-school
  time free of activities. Even if your child has been engaged in an activity for
  a long time, give her a break from it for the first few months of Kindergarten.
  Kindergartners need and deserve down time when they step out of school. Expect
  to see a tired, maybe even cranky child. Be patient and be with your child.
  This also means you might have to lower your own commitments those first few
  months.

• Be Gentle on
  the Teacher: Kindergarten teachers work hard! They work hard for children and
  they work hard with parents. Imagine having to care for and respond to the dear
  darlings of 15-25 families. We parents have 1-2-3-4-5 dear darlings. The
  teacher has 15-25. That’s a lot of precious people to inspire, respond to, play
  with and work alongside. Set real expectations and partner with the teacher. Consider
  the littlest stuff you do can make the teacher’s life easier. If you have five
  minutes, do something to make his day easier instead of asking for more for your
  child.

• Build a Bridge
  and Live on it: School and home will dominate your child’s life for the next several
  years. In this time, it is easy for school to takes it place and for home to be
  separate from school. Strong learning and growing happens when school and home
  connect to give a fluid experience. Fluid experiences depend on strong
  relationships and on daily rituals that connect school with home. Consider
  simple daily rituals to start building the bridge — Walk to school to
  literally connect home and school with the line of your walk, reach 10 minutes
  early and stay an extra 5 minutes after drop-off to connect with other
  families, stay after pick-up to play on the playground – playground is a
  powerful place for children – experiences there can make a child in deep ways,
  find a spot on the school grounds that is your child’s safe place at school
  then go there every few days to talk about the school day or just to be together
  on the school grounds, write a note and stick it in the lunch box. When these
  rituals feel natural, extend yourself to partner with teachers, to ask
  important questions, advocate for your child and other children and give to the
  school.

I hope these ideas inspire
other ideas for you and that together they set you on the path of seeing
school-entry as a process, a transition. I hope these invitations help you see
this time as a step in a lifelong journey – the journey of lifelong learning.
It can be a lifelong journey if it is seen that way – as a journey, not as a
destination for which we need to be ready.

Here’s to you and to all
the other parents steadying themselves for the start of school!

SEPTEMBER 2012 NEWSLETTER ARTICLE