The Myth of the Gifted
The term “gifted” conjures up images of a wild haired, bespectacled, scrawny child who asks many questions, stays socially isolated and produces a body of work that would put many 40 year-olds to shame. It is exactly this image that makes “gifted” such a poorly descriptive term. If you are progressively inclined, you probably also cringe at the elitism inherently implied by the term. Often “giftedness” is defined by the result of an IQ test. This measure, one that many consider limited and unreliable, further alienates the idea of “giftedness”.
Ahead of the term and the measure of intelligence is a human being. I fundamentally believe that every child, every person was put on this planet to fulfill a calling, to pursue a passion. I also believe that the manifestation of the calling and the ability to follow a passion shows up very differently for every child.
Commonly labeled “gifted” or “highly capable” children are human beings, who cannot be reduced to a label, defined and squared away by an IQ measure. What are more interesting than the label of “gifted” or the IQ score are the characteristics true to “intense, tenacious, intentional, motivated, focused” children. These children are intense.
The intensity manifests in as many ways as there are children. Some cannot stop talking whether to share their ideas or to ask questions. Others cannot stop thinking, to the point where they cannot fall asleep at night. Sensitive to the slightest emotional affront, some demonstrate an unusual sense of justice. Unable to stop drawing, some create detailed depictions of the complex ideas in their imaginative minds. Others hate drawing and writing is a far cry. Singers and dancers amongst them memorize hundreds of songs by the time they are four and five years old. Unable to sit still, they get diagnosed as having some variation of a hyperactive disorder. The truth is far beyond the diagnoses. Universally, they are quick to learn, whether reading words or another person’s emotions. While some read chapter books in Kindergarten, others struggle with reading and are diagnosed with dyslexia. Some shoot in-regulation 3-pointers at the age of seven while also being madly concerned about social justice. The traditional jock image breaks down in the face of such a child.
Most any image breaks down in the face of a high intensity child. The intensity might be subtle, quiet, dark or gregarious, obvious and productive. It is critical that we look past the label, the IQ score and see the child who comes before the labels. The IQ test is limited so lets see it as a single data point, not a complete descriptor of a human being. The label is poor so lets toss it and choose instead to look into a child’s eyes and the right descriptors will emerge. In cringing at the label and the score, lets not cringe away from the child. Intense and unique, obvious or subtle, she is here to fulfill a mission. It is our responsibility to see her for the complex, complete, connected being she is and to support her in her endeavor to live out her dreams.
How can you understand your own child and her giftedness more fully? What educational choices will you make for her? How might you change your parenting to meet her and your needs? What can you do to extend, expand and rejoice in her childhood experiences? How can you enrich her experiences?
Join me for an evening of information, discussion and audience anecdotes on April 23 from 7:00-8:30 pm in Bellevue. Registration and further details are here.